Today is.. Thursday!

Peachy peachy peachy! That's my mood for today.. acks..didnt update my imood.. ermm.. I am still angelic :) *wiNK* Just peachy for that matter! My friend Elaine called me yesterday.. and after I spoken to her I called William.. he asked me "Is there something that happened and I should know about? You sound really happy" I AM! It's this bond I have with Elaine.. honestly.. we only speak to each other like.. twice a year max.. but everytime she calls, I am really excited.. and everything is.. PEACHY! I could go on and on for hours.. must be one of those things huh? I barely know her.. met her 2 1/2 years ago.. and sorta like hit it off there.. that's friendship for you :P

I have finally completed my Portfolio! Ehh.. I made US$28,000 in 54 days.. 39 trading days at that!! A 5.56% increase from my initial investment of US$500,000 k!! **Shucks* Just think if it werent paper money.. then I'll be rich!!!! I think that's where I am headed.. kekeke.. I'm gonna make a career outta this! ermmm.. maybe :P

You know what... I just realised that a whole ton of people reads this blog.. seriously. How I know? **Sshhhhh** That's our little secret .. too bad I am not a regular blogger.. updating you about my life, like some people I know.. woah.. can make soap opera outta it !! I think I am contented with whatever I have.. and hey.. Privacy is still one of my favourite words.. so is pickles, bubbles and dejavu.. haha.. those are just my favourite words. No meaning :P

Ok.. now I'm going to get breakfast.. anyone wants to join me? HUNGRYYYY!!!

Goodbye Carmel
Farewells sucks,
They suck soo bad,
They suck sooo hard,
It hurts soooo deep...

Goodbye....I will miss you...alot...

Confusion, anxiety.. is this love?

He loves me..
He loves me not..
He loves me..
He loves me not..
*sigh*

I love him..
I love him not..
I love him..
I love him not..
*sigh*

I have nothing to offer
My gift.. is my soul
I dont know if this is right..
But, how do you justify right?
At nights I wake, just thinking of your smile
and wish.. just wish.. if only I'd knew..
my feelings for you

I ponder on.. if we could just be..
But do I really want it to come true?
Confused.. so so confused..
Complication.. could this not be simple?
I know you care.. I care too..
But I dont know if everything is.. what I really knew
Sometimes, I wish to call..
so I hear your voice.. soothing me through the night
like you always do..
Sometimes, I wish to hold you near
to feel your skin.. next to mine..
And be.. just be.. close to you

I need you..
I need you not..
I need you..
I need you not..
*sigh*

If only I knew..

Ecstasy Dreams

Today I became a lucky lab rat for a friend, Susan. She’s studying to become a beautician and she needs models for her to practice her make-up and facial skills. She applied some natural-brownish makeup for me, I think it was okay Lar…but I looked too dramatic. After that she washed it all off (phew..i look better without makeup) and did a facial for me inclusive of a shoulder, neck and face massage.

It was really relaxing (the massage), it was very soothing and I felt really comfortable. If only my boyfriend could do this for me everyday…

I remembered a few days ago, my back muscles were feeling notoriously tense. I was furiously trying to finish some assignments and was glue to the PC in a posture similar to that of a shrimp for more than 8 hours. Needless to say my back was stiff as a stick, and miraculously I managed to persuade my very uncompromising bf to give me a back rub amidst protest of having no idea how to give someone a massage. I desperately felt like a massage and got it anyway.

I laid on my chest and watched as he balled his hands into fist and started pounding my back muscles…very…very…softly…MAHAI!!! I couldn’t feel dam a thing! Anyway I told him to put more strength’ lar. Pulak’ he straighten his fingers, Bruce-Lee-style, and started to chop my body. I felt like a “char siew”. Haiz…Susan massage on the other hand felt like what a massage should feel like and in no time I was in dreamland.

And I dreamt…I dreamt…I dreamt, I was watching ATB live in some sort of concert and I mean concert, it was not a rave, everyone was seated and watching politely. But the music was the typical ATB kind, the typical techno kind. I was seated civilly like everyone else, then suddenly Victor walked in held me a pill which I mindlessly popped into my mouth. It was ecstasy, and I was shaking my head violently, and the stage turned purple and the people on the stage turned orange, the lights turned bloody red, everything was spinning, wisps of blue, streaks of yellow were flashing in my eyes and I could see everyone was starring at me and joining in. It was really crazy, when I woke up; my head was throbbing a little. I didn’t know I could get a hangover thanks to a dream…weird…really weird…f r e a k y….

Thanks a lot Susan.

P.S. This post was meant for Tuesday, unfortunately blogger fucked up so I am putting it up today.


Contra emotions…
Today I had another really great day. I think it’s been a while since I felt sooo good and had sooo much fun. Yet I also feel sad, and slightly depressed. Today day was Carmel’s farewell party. Carmel, BTW is my line dance instructor, whom projects this cool grandma image and I’ve grown very fond of her over the last few weeks, months.

We had Chinese dinner, along with the other line dancing ladies and men (most of them are married with kids), over at Palm Springs. The dinner was not too bad and I really digged the deserts…yum…yum. After that we headed over the Citadel for some dancing party. They played many country tracks and everyone was dancing in line (cause this is line dancing we are talking about), together, most of us knew the dance moves to heart so it looked really great. Ginn and me learnt a new dance called Summer Breeze (How deep is your love?) through a VCD and where asked to perform it for them to see. I think we did pretty well and there was a standing ovulation, and clapping and cheers of “we want more, we want more!!!”…err…nolar, basically everyone just clapped…hehehe…

Ginn had something eating up her brain and had to make an early exit. I stayed on with all the aunties, uncles, grandmas and a great grand mother. Ginn and me are like the youngest people in the class the rest of them age between 40-60. Anyway everyone kept on complimenting the way I danced, cause I am young comparative to them and I am more flexible. It’s not cause I am a great dancer, it’s just that anyone aged twenty something definitely can wiggle and jiggle their butt if they had to. Anyway the flattery made me loose much of my inhibitions and I dance non-stop till about midnight. Raymond, and his wife Cecelia(ballroom instructors) also performed two ballroom dances for us to watch. They are really good, Raymond though is better and very much more flexible and graceful then his wife. They used to compete professionally I heard. It was great, I loved the music, the people, Carmel and the sweat dripping from my forehead.

Now my feet are slightly blistered and I am at home feeling totally spent. I walked Carmel home after it all…boy I am gonna miss her…

Fame tickets for SALE
A friend of mine is trying to sell two Fame-the musical tickets. He purchase them at 200 a piece but is willing to part with them for 150 per ticket. The show is on Saturday nite. If anyone is interested please e-mail me or leave a comment. URGENT!!!

Bored to the bone..

Bored bored bored bored bored...! Gosh I am so bored today. I guess its just one of those days huh? Here I am, sitting in college, with practically nothing much to do..ermm.. ok.. so I do have a Portfolio (finance, mind you) to complete, and a whole lotta bills to pay.. but.. *sigh** I AM SOOOOOooOOoOOO BORED!

Oohh.. look..! A mushroom..! Believe it buster.. a mushroom just sprouted on my arm.. and I can see cobwebs forming already. Haha.. this is so lame huh? Complaining about boredom on my blog.. at least I know e|ise is having fun with a facial at this point of time..speaking of facial.. hmm.. maybe I should go get one too?

The other day, I tried to view this blog.. and ACKkKK!! Almost had the shock of my life when it said "Page Not Found".. I was like.."NO WAYYyYYY!! All my work of art!! It cant be.. IT CANT BE!! NOoOOoOOoOoOO...!" But then it's loading again today! YIPPIE!! So now I can add more junk.. :P haha.. huh? *hMMPH*** Well.. you can poke your eyes out or just strat scrolling down if your not interested :P What are you doing in here anyway?? Do I know you?? Then why are you reading my blog? IT'S MINEEE! ALL MINEEE.. ermm.. OURS :P (hehe.. havent forgotten you there Cheryl dearie) Mommy always thought me to share.. so I am sharing.. hehehe..

Ok.. I'm going nuts.. I'll book a date with the doctor.. I know this really cute one **WiNK** ARrGHh.. I cant take this anymore.. sien sien sien sien siennnnnnnn..I think I'll go the the library.. havent been reading the news.. tata :P

Catnip for you
I recently busted $36 buck on a new toy for my beloved Meow. It contains Catnip, some extract made out of some plant, and had some smell, that drove my cat wild. She's totally in love with it, acting like a playful kitten all over again. It freaked me out completely, so i logged onto the net and found out that the smell of Catnip arouses the sexual part of the cat's brain. It causes most unnutured male cats to react to it, however it is not dangerous and non-addictive (thank god, i tot my cat turned into a junkie). So if you have a cat, get em' a toy with some Catnip, they'll love you to bits.

Yesterday i meet up with my Cousin and her friend for some drinks at Chill. It's been along time since i meet her so it has really great to see her again. She's currently interning at a company called PDQ, an advertising company. Also an old friend of mine Faizal(Yup, i meet Cicak) turned up with Gary, his sister's boyfriend. It's been ages since we meet cause he's been studying and later worked in the US. His Dad has just passed on, due to some rare lung condition. *We should always try to spend more time with our parents, cause we never know what tommorow will bring*. And that's probably the main reason why he is back in the country. Anyway we decided to head down to Nouvo for some dance and drinks. Overall it was a great night, though my stomach lining was totally burned in the morning. I reckon i better stop drinking and smoking, i think i am currently killing myself.

Well back to the fucking Strat Mark, assignment...

AhaCks..so this is how it feels like to be drunk in a disco..**hic**

I just woke up with a slight hangover.. in fact, as I type, I can feel my head spinning.. focus Jane focus.. heheheh.. I went to Emporium yesterday night with some buddies from college.. wasnt too bad actually, but this is my first time getting pissed in a club. Fwahh.. totally bad experience weizz..!! Everything was fine at first, until that full glass of Jim Beam on the rocks.. thennn.. it came like a full speed truck.. a hit and run, which left me ok in the beginning.. still walking around.. chilling.. having more drinks (haha.. so I'm being a sucker :P) Then I felt like puking.. so I walked out to get more fresh air.. must have been my biggest mistake.. coz the moment I went out, it was rather hard to get back in.. sitting down was my next biggest mistake.. coz it was even harder getting up!! I remember everything I did, everything I said.. coz I didnt say much.. I remember falling down the stairs..haha.. which I have bruises to prove :P And I'll not embarass myself anymore by telling it on this blog!!! William was right.. sending me home first was the best decision he made!! I just hope Pheobe's ok.. Now.. I think I'm going to go sleep somemore...ZZZzzZZzzz..ahacks.. hehehe.. at least we'll have something to laugh about when I meet my friends in college!!

P.S. Never ever get drunk in public.. horrible feeling.. horrible sight..

Gerbera.. the sweetest thing

I've just came back not too long ago.. what a longggg day today.. a pretty good one at that.. so now I'm here to brag about it.. hehehe.. cant let -e|ise- "bolot" the whole blog right? kekekeke...nget nget nget.. hmm.. where should I start?..ahhhh.. Two days ago I met this 27 year old backpacker from England. Really cute guy with blond hair.. green eyes.. I think it's green.. looks yellow sometimes.. :P haha.. so I've been observant! He's been travelling for the past 7 months, and I'm sure he has seen so much more of South East Asia then I've ever seen!! He's been to Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, Thailand.. and gosh! He's even been to Pangkor and Taman Negara.. shucks.. tourists get all the luck!! And here I am, planning for the past year to go to Taman Negara and where did it get me? haha.. I'm still nowhere past my front lawn!!

Today, I met him again..and he brought me flowers!! How sweet!! I think that's one of he sweetest things anyone has done for me. Awwww.. was so speechless.. and I think I forgot to thank him for that sweet gesture.. *sigh* And he's going off to Singapore tomorrow morning to meet up with his girlfriend. Shucks... why cant he be single, right? *wiNK* hehehehhehe..Oh well.. I'll send him an e-card :P We went to Thean Hou Temple.. and then to Batu Caves.. this is the second time I'm climbing those 262 steps this year! *PHEW** That's what I call exercise.. and my head was pounding by the time I got down.. eyerrrrr... all those guano. Stinks like mad!!

You know, I'm really impressed by these backpackers. All geared up and ready to go explore a new world.. damn brave right? I think if it was me, I'd think a few times before I really go on a solo trip to Thailand.. or Vietnam..or anywhere!!! Ehh.. come to think of it.. I was in Orchard Road alone.. and it really felt silly. NEVER WOULD I EVER DO THAT AGAIN!! I think I'll drag on a travel companion! Anytime!!

Anyway, I think today was a very good day. I had a very good time..with good company.. :) If only every other day was like this one .. hehehe..

nite nite ..ZZZzzzzzzZZzzzzzz

Dedicated to all my great friends
Shinfua, Ginn, Olivia, Joanne, Livon, Emily, Henry, Jael, Jason, Ganesh and Jay.

Dearest Friends,

Thank you for your sight,
When you guided my way,
Thank you for you ears,
When you listen to what I say,
Thank you for your words
When I was led astray,
Thank you for your shoulders,
When I wept away,

Thank you for a heart,
So sincere and true,
Thank you for being,
Simply you……..

I could have never made it through life,
Without friends like you,
And now I just wanna say a big-
“Thank you!”.

Thanks for making my life more meaningful, more beautiful, more colourful, more wonderful. I love you guys…..

P.S: I penned this down in under 5 minutes, forgive it’s simplicity but appreciate it’s meaning…

Moving on is like waking up from a dream

This column, I would dedicate to my ex boyfriend, although I doubt he'd be able to read this anyway. We broke up at the end of January, 6 months after we started a relationship. It took me a whole 3 months to get over him. Every day, every hour even every minute seems like an eternity. I could never be alone. I remember counting hours, just so that night would fall and I know I've survived another day.. without him.

As I sit here and write this today, I'm finally free. No longer do I fight the urge to hear his voice, no longer do push away the need to see him, no longer do I crave that he would be my friend. The thing is, in every relationship, we make ourselves believe that "this is the one"..that we would never find anyone better than the one we have..but in true fact the next one is better. And so will the next one be better than the one before...well, unless we decide to be blind and lose our quality control :P

I guess love is a very strong thing. It makes us lose control and after a while, it makes us vulnerable..pathethic..and desparate..especially when our other half if not making us a part of their world anymore. We try so hard to hold on to whatever that is slipping away.. and hurt ourselves in the process.. making things worse than before. True enough.. we cant predict the future. We cant control what is beyond control..and in a relationship, you cant make someone love you..especially when he doesnt love you anymore.

Moving on is like waking up from a dream..where the past is left as a past, and whatever I thought was most important no longer is. It made me realise that we should never be too attached..and like -e|ise- once told me "we should always be prepared". Change is a part of life. As we grow older, our lifestyle changes.. like how our perspective of things would change as would our outlook towards life. Its like looking back at old photos..memories tucked far far away behind our minds which was wonderful while it lasted.. but now, I look forward to better things.

Thanx Chwah Tuoh...for making me what I am today.. for without you, I would never know what it is to love and be loved..

...to all who shared my smiles and laughter, my sorrow and my pain..you know who you are... thanx for being there for me when I needed you the most *HUGS*


"God didnt promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain...
but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears and light for the way"

Yo, it's Osama!
I was taking the LRT several days ago, from Kelana Jaya to KLCC. Somewhere along the way, a Caucasian guy got on, and sat next to me. He asked me if I was Malaysian, and we basically started chatting. He was an Italian, and has been living in Malaysia for about 3 years cause his family moved here. He asked for my name and I asked him for his. His name was OSAMA!!! No joke (or at least that’s what he said) I didn’t know it was such a popular name. He then dropped a few compliments about the way I looked and asked for my phone number. Geezz…do I have the word “sucker” written all over my forehead??? Or do Caucasian men think Asian girls are that easy to pick up??? Anyway I politely declined and franticly started to send SMS’s to some of my friends to keep me looking busy. Luckily KLCC was just a few stops away. * Phew *.

Speaking about Osama and the whole U.S. bombing Afghanistan thingy, there is a phrase that goes KILLING FOR PEACE IS LIKE FUCKING FOR CHASTITY…

More importantly, earlier this morning, a friend of mine got stabbed in the head by some Indian man in Bintang Walk right in front of Piccolo. I haven’t seen her yet cause I am back here in JB but the wound is quite small cause she only receive 2 stitches. It seems she was walking to work when, this fella approached her asking for some money, she declined and walked away, he followed her, she got scared and ran for it. He chased and stabbed her in the scalp. The worst thing about this whole incident is that no one helped her and that bastard is still out there!!! Luckily she was near her work place, and was taken to the hospital by the company’s security guards. What are Malaysians turning into??? How can you turn your back on someone so in need of help??? It disappoints me greatly to see how selfish society has become…

Multitasking.. how to pretend that ur paying attention to the lecturer

hehehe.. at this present moment, I am in college.. the Computer Lab, for Internet Marketing 350, with Jason.. great..he just said "Imagine what if whatever ur typing now appears on the lecturer's computer".. ha ha.. FREAKY!!! die lorr like that... :P

Ok.. so I havent been writing much. Ok.. so I'm bored right now.. ermm.. I know.. I should be paying attention... heyyy!! At least I came right? ermm.. at least I got my attendance checked!! Now the lecturer's telling us how to get a good job.. hehehe..

#1 APPLY TO HEADHUNTERS
#2 APPLY TO JOBSTREET.COM

Oh well.. I just feel bad that I havent been blogging. Have to see some gold in this place weiz..!! WhOOpss.. she's looking at me!! GOTTA GO!

A night of Fame
Yesterday Henry (a good buddy of mine) and me went to watch Fame-The Musical at Istana Budaya KL. FAME - The Musical is a comedy-drama in song and dance set at New York City's High School of Performing Arts. It follows a group of young students (actors, dancers and musicians) as they interact with each other through a four year period between 1980 and 1984.


We were considered their first performance in Malaysia, and since the show only officially opens tomorrow, it was more like a full-dressed rehearsal (most guest were invited). The show was quite good. The set was quite simple and limited and the storyline was average. However the singing was fabulous, several of them had really strong vocals. When they sung you could feel the thunder in their voices, the tears and joys in their words. The dancing was superb -ballet, jazz, salsa, tap dancing, modern dance and lots of break dance moves. Of all of the charathers, I liked Tyrone (charismatic, sexy, break-dancer, Black) and Carmen (fiery, over confident, Hispanic) the most. Overall I think it was a really fun, colorful show, worth watching. *Thanks Henry!!!*


We almost didn’t make it though; we didn’t exactly now where Istana Budaya was, so we had to find our own way there from KLCC. We followed the map given with the tickets, and finally “saw” Istana Budaya on our right. Unfortunately we were on the other side of the road and needed to find a U-turn. Misfortune struck again when we missed the roundabout=U-turn, and then took a wrong left turn. After a few more wrong turns (thanks to the driver) and aimless zigzagging (thanks to the navigator, me :P hehe), the driver managed to steer us on the right route (after driving one whole round around KL). We parked, and rushed into the theater. J.I.T (just in time)…* Phew *…it was an exciting 40 minutes trying to find the place.


After the show, had a brief “yum char” session and dropped dead in my bed. Later I realized I haven’t bathe and slowly crawled to the washroom. After that I’ve been energetic till NOW. Now it’s time to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Good night…

I am a Man

A personal friend of mine recently had a sex change operation(from female to male). Please click here to read about it.

Photo Album
Recent photos taken....
This is my cat, due to lack of imagination, we named her Meow. Meow is now sleeping on my damp toilet rug, like a pig.



This is Livon, my ex-houemate, it's her bitrhday. The cake was hard, it was an ice cream cake.




Hehehe FOOD FIGTH!!! That's me grabbing Livon's neck, and next to Livon was Fanny. Yum yum the strawberry icecream tasted good in my hair.



That's me(the one in black) and Jane. Getting ready to leave for Emporium.



That's me, in pink and Jane, in white, in metro's tiny "cantine".



And this is Metro's smoking section.



This year's Metro ball king, Chee Kit



Sorry if it took a long time to load....

The Human Spider

My piglet boyfriend just installed a Spiderman screen saver , onto my comp. It sucks, and I am not exactly a big fan of the creepy-wall-crawler. I think the movie was so-so and wasn’t worth the 1 hour spent queuing up for the tickets and the stiff neck I got after watching the show (we sat in the front row, my neck was angled 45 degrees higher than normal, after an hour and a half….it really hurt). However I did like the way Spiderman moved, fought, jumped, spined his web etc. The stunt man must have been a pretty flexible guy. And Peter Parker(the actor) was kinda cute *giggles* but no where as cute as Legolas of Mirkwood *giggles wildly*.

New housemate’s a MORON!!!

Friday was the second day after Livon (my ex-housemate) shifted out, and the day I meet Cecelia (my new housemate). And Cecelia is the biggest moron I have ever meet…I am serious.

The day she moved in, she snooped around the apartment and dug up our past few months electricity bill. When I got home, she said in a stern face that she wanted to move out after two months, because our electricity consumption was too high. She said she couldn’t understand how normal people could consume so much electricity. Since the bill would be split between all of us she wasn’t happy about it. I looked at the amount she was pointing at on the bill; it’s stated amount was 1719.80. My Gawd!!! That amount was the accumulated amount’lar (accumulated even before I moved in) not the monthly consumption. Our monthly bill was about 250-300 only. So stupid…I pointed this out to her, and I think out of embarrassment she said that 300 a month was really a lot to pay.

Our apartment has five air conds, three computers, and many other electrical items. What was she expecting?? So I asked her how much would she be willing to pay per month….she said “err….about 40-to 50’Lar in her very Chinese ascent. I was totally pissed off at that point, cause there where 6 of us (including her), living there. A bit of mental calculations would have pointed it out that the amount she was WILLING to pay, was the exact amount she HAD to pay. So fucking stupid. I told her “Cecelia, you are willing to pay maximum fifty per month rite??”. She nods. I continued “And in this apartment the most the bill will ever be IS three hundred. Therefore three hundred divided by 6 of us is fifty… so what are you complaining about??!!” She gave me a mocked look and ran back into her room, and took out…..(drum roll…..because this is the most supreme demonstration of her stupidity)…….a….. CALCULATOR!!!! So bloody fucking stupid!!!!!!!And proceed to calculate how much 300 divided by 6 was…satisfied with the results, she than told me she would inform her roommate about this since suddenly she realized it’s wasn’t too expensive…It then dawn on me that my new housemate is a MORON…I was about to walk back to my Survivors program when she began to complain how dirty the kitchen was and how dirty it was to feed my cat in the kitchen…I stared….straight….into....her….bloody fucking stupid looking ….eyes….NOW I WAS FUCKING PISSED OF….she then retorted quickly …. “err…. I think the rent I will give you the day after tomorrow, and….and…errr….the kitchen this time me and my roommate clean first lar’ Everything is okay lar”,I stormed out of her room, surprised I managed to restrain myself from suffocating her. I then realized she was a BITCH. I am staying with a Chinese educated, bloody fucking stupid bitch!!!

Wonder what her roommate is like???